Classic Captions – Twin Triumphs Edition

Welcome to another edition of the Redusernab Classic Captions Contest, wherein we show you an old advertising or promotional photo, and y’all come up with witty, clever, and snarky — or in rare cases, profoundly moving — quips to accompany it.

Looking back at recent contests, I realized that the past six have featured women somewhere in or around the vehicle, half of them in swimsuits. Lest people accuse me of pandering the Redusernab’s predominantly male readership and their tendency to go there in their comments whenever possible, I present you with this human-being-free photo of two ’70s Triumph roadsters in a bucolic glade surrounded only by God’s wild creatures. I am confident that nobody can twist this into something crass and unseemly.
…NO, WAIT! I didn’t mean that as a challenge, really!
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False Neutral #40: Our Fantasy Guest List

First off, the three of us devote some attention to the 2017 Honda Rebel 300 & 500. We then briefly discuss a couple of other newly-introduced bikes that none of our listeners will ever buy, or likely even see. Finally, each of us names the motorcycle heroes — past or present — we’d most wish we could sit down and have a conversation with. Garrett’s Internet connection continued to have bandwidth issues in a few spots, but just convince yourself that he’s actually a cyborg; hopefully this will be resolved when we return. Speaking of which, we’ll be taking a break for few weeks over the Holidays. We’ll resume our regular weekly schedule on January 10th.

False Neutral – Our Fantasy Guest List

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Classic Captions Contest – Tatra 603 Edition


This week’s contest features a first-gen Tatra T603. The photo is undated, but a safe guess is that it’s circa 1959,  +/- three years, as production started in 1956 and a restyled 2-603 came out in ’62. (The original design is often retroactively referred to as the 1-603.) Inside its homeland — what was then Czechoslovakia — the big rear-engine sedan was only accessible to Communist Party big-wigs. A sizeable number were exported both within and beyond Warsaw Pact nations. It ranked among the most high-end and status-y of Eastern Bloc vehicles: sort of a cold war Czech version of what the Cadillac Escalade was to Y2K Atlanta. Despite the communist devotion to drab utilitarianism and rhetoric about the evils of Western decadence, this was one fancy whip, complete with a couple of primo biatches in skimpy bathing suits caressing the fender — also exactly like most early millennial Escalade photos from Atlanta.

If you’ve been looking for a slam-dunk captions contest, this week is it. From the contrastingly dowdy citizenry in the background, to the ’50s swimsuit styles, to Tatras’ notoriously tail-happy handling, this image is downright preggo with snarky comments that can run in myriad different directions. What are you waiting for?
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False Neutral #39: Bikes on Film


In this episode Eric, Garrett and I look at how motorcycles are portrayed in Hollywood films. From the good to the bad and the ugly, we discuss what bike-related movie tropes get two thumbs up, and which ones make us groan. After a tangental side-trip into who does the biker wave to whom, and why, we get back on topic to close out with a list of our favorite motorcycle documentary films.

False Neutral – Bikes On Film

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Classic Captions Contest – Amco Tops Edition

The automotive aftermarket is a huge part of car culture. In an effort to keep things fresh, our Classic Captions photo this week is not from a car manufacturer, but from an ad for Amco replacement convertible tops. Unless you’re a #bradsport devotee, being able to raise the top on your convertible is a very welcome thing when rain starts to fall. Amco made factory fabric tops for Chrysler, but this young lady sure seems pleased, perhaps even smug about her choice of an Amco replacement top for her Fiat 850 Sport Spider. But there could be more to this than evident at first glance. What that might be is up to you, and your comments.
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Thanksgiving Turkey: Suzuki GW250 Inazuma


As with cars, folks are fond of saying, “You can’t buy a bad motorcycle anymore.” Unfortunately, these folks are wrong, because you can buy the Suzuki GW250, and it’s a bad motorcycle. Let me make this plain: the GW250 isn’t just “less than the state of the art,” it’s outright bad. On multiple levels. It’s also my Redusernab Thanksgiving Turkey of choice.
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False Neutral #38: EICMA 2016


The new-bike show season continues, with another crop of new models just announced at the EICMA show in Milan. Eric, Garrett and Pete discuss the hottest (and in a few cases, not so remarkable) new models for 2017, a couple of concept bikes you may or may not ever find at your dealer. It’s no surprise that we disagree on a few of ’em, but we do so politely, of course. Bonus Galactica 1980 reference.

False Neutral – EICMA 2016

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Classic Captions Contest – Hillman Imp Edition


Most Classic Captions images are photographic, since that’s what car marketers have typically used in their ads and press materials. But this week we have a beautiful artist’s rendering of a Hillman Imp, dashing up a mountain road under the skillful pilotage of a chisel-jawed driver, to the delight of his three female passengers. A skilled artist can carefully accentuate the vehicle’s appearance to subtly suggest traits that a totally realistic photo might not depict: in this case, power, security, and not tumbling off a cliff. But whatever this image says to you, say it back in the comments section and you could win cash money fabulous prizes points in life bragging rights.
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False Neutral #37: Motorcycles & Music with Thai Long Ly

Eric and Garrett welcome part-time bike tester, full-time motorcyclist, professional musician, and all-around cool guy Thai Long Ly to the podcast. Thai is not only a regular member of Motorcycle.com’s bike test crew but an accomplished bass player, songwriter, recording engineer and music producer. He eloquently speaks about the similarities between making music and riding a motorcycle. Garrett had some bandwidth issues that makes him sound like a cyborg in a few spots, but it doesn’t last long.

False Neutral – Motorcycles & Music with Thai Long Ly

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Classic Captions – ’74 Dodge Dart Hang Ten Edition


By 1974, the anti-establishment counterculture of the ’60s had mellowed with age, and the need to earn paychecks. Simultaneously, pro-America sentiment was rising as the Bicentennial approached. Dodge decided to split the difference and create an edition of their mid-sized Dart featuring youth-oriented, surf-themed graphics in red, white, and blue. Their ad men put a long-haired, surf-loving beauty in a stars-and-stripes swimsuit and gave her a board adorned ‘Merican colors as well. And then they put the trio in a gravel quarry, with nary a nor shining sea nor purple mountain in sight. No, I can’t explain that last part.

But I’m sure of of you can. You know the drill: post a cutting, witty or snarky comment and wait to bask in the glory of the upvotes that will follow.
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