The Carchive: A 1987 Ford Accessories catalogue

Chris Haining February 10, 2017 The Carchive

It’s time for our weekly trip into the sewers in which the dirty dishwater of yesterdays memories ebb and flow. With so much history swept into our drains every day, it’s up to some of us to get busy with the sieves and see if we can strain out one or two tasty morsels. Welcome back to The Carchive.

In a change to the nature of our usual programming, today we’re not looking at a car. We’re looking at what Ford could offer those who already owned a product of the Blue Oval to make their car even more special to them. Welcome to the Ford Accessories catalogue, 1987.

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Rusty’s Eastern European Vacation Snapz

Chris Haining February 7, 2017 All Things Hoon

I’ve been off globetrotting for the last week, in that highly budget-conscious manner I’ve become so adept at. We flew out in a 737 with the most brutally constrictive seat pitch you could imagine, and then spent two days each in Prague, Vienna and Budapest. Naturally, while I should have been taking in the sights and partaking in new and fascinating culture, I was instead sidetracked by what I found on the roads.

Here’s a taste of the kind of treats that the streets of the Czech republic, Austria and Hungary could have in store for your next trip.

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Steam scaled to perfection: A 1:4 scale Atkinson Steam Wagon

Chris Haining January 27, 2017 All Things Hoon

As much as I enjoy looking at the several 1:18 scale models cars in my collection, ultimately I recognise that all they can do is sit there, looking pretty. The best thing they can do is to act as a tribute to the full-size car they resemble – enough to offer you a fractional taste of the owning the real thing.

This quarter scale model of an Atkinson Steam wagon does the same thing. Photographed in the Museum Of Power, the brilliantly named institution not far from where I live, it immediately stood out to me as a masterpiece. The best thing about it? It’s fully functional.

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A Classic Car show British weather can’t ruin


There are six long months to go until this year’s Goodwood Festival of Speed. No doubt the many local and regional car meets that naturally occur will fill some of the weekends in, but it would be nice if there could be a proper, full-scale event – one where highly tuned race behemoths can come to life – to punctuate our wait?

Well, turns out there is. The London Classic Car promises its own opportunities to watch motoring icons in action. There’s a central parade strip on which drivers can ‘open ‘er up’ to rapturous applause. And though the show may be in cold, drizzly February and not mid-summer, and may be set in a bleak urban environment rather than surrounded by some of the most invigorating scenery these isles have to offer. But it does have one considerable advantage –

It’s indoors.

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Motorboat Monday: A diminutive Fairey with a fair bit of urge

Chris Haining January 23, 2017 Motorboat Monday


After last week’s shallow-draft scorcher from North America, today’s offering for Motorboat Monday comes from three thousand miles West, and could barely be more different in character than the V8-motivated Kindsvater.

It’s only fifteen feet long, and has a fraction of the power, but good things come in small packages. As with last week’s boat, today’s has been the subject of a painstaking restoration, and is a glorious example of a boat that has become rather rare.

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The Carchive: The 1987 Mercury Topaz

It’s Friday night, and, oh… well, nobody’s going to be reading this, anyway. I could write absolutely anything on the inauguration day of a new US president; everybody will be out drinking vast quantities of alcohol either to celebrate or to try to forget. Not I, though. Your loyal servant is here when it matters, on hand to share pages from old car brochures. Welcome to The Carchive.

Today’s offering is appropriately American, but not necessarily a car that’s widely revered. Why? Well, it’s a 1987 Mercury Topaz, that’s why.

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Drown (out) your sorrows with Supercars.


We don’t get political here at Redusernab, but what we do do is offer somewhere to escape to when the world is heavy with grim omens. And what better form of escape is there for the octane-veined motive-power enthusiast than a field packed with glittering supercars?

The 2016 Goodwood Festival of Speed was impeccably timed to coincide with the half-hour British summer, and wading through the sea of supercars was a distinctly upbeat moment (not spoilt at all by the fact that I had just been hurled up the hillclimb in an Aston Martin). After reaching the ‘top’, the Bugatti, Ferraris, Mclarens and many, many more assembled ready for the return trip. The video beyond the jump is what it looked, and sounded like.

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Craigslist find: TWO 1982 Cub Commuter microcars!


We four-fifths through the previous Century, a category of car that had lain dormant for a while suddenly went through a renaissance. The microcar. There were many reasons that people should be tempted by a tiny, lightweight, basic car – cost savings to the driver, reduced environmental impact and the smug feeling of grabbing that hard-to-use last parking space.

We’ve all heard of the most popular microcars – the KV MINI naturally leaps to mind, but others are a little more obscure. If Mr Hollis Danley is in da house, smash him a high five for unearthing this buried gem from the vermont Craigslist. It’s a Cub Commuter. Of course it is.

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Motorboat Monday: 455Ci in a Kindsvater Jet Boat

Chris Haining January 16, 2017 Motorboat Monday

455 Cubic Inches. Oldsmobile V8 power. In a boat which displaces so little it’s practically on the plane when it’s not moving.

This glorious machine was glinting away on the Classic Motor Boat Association stand at the 2017 London International Boat Show. And I’ll bet that, given an opportunity, it would have been one of the very loudest vessels on display, as well as one of the smallest.

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A Datsun 160J: When the tinworm loses its appetite


Though it’s nowhere near as hostile as that of Iceland, the British climate is one that incubates tinworms to an extent that they will feverishly tuck into any metalwork that takes their fancy.

My forum moniker alludes to the fact that the pesky blighters evidently find the 1988 Rover 800 a particular delicacy, and will make any metalwork concealed by plastic panelling disappear in short order. And, while the rapid lessening of heavy steelwork will undoubtedly improve your acceleration times, waking up one morning to find that your car is growing smaller is a constant fear of the Rover owner.

But ‘eighties Rovers are low-fat compared to what tinworms liked to eat in the past. They may have found Thatcher-era Fords, Vauxhalls and Leyland products delicious, and really liked to chow down on an occasional non-galvanised Italian, but they enjoyed nothing more than a Japanese meal from the ’70s. All of this makes this immaculate ’79 Datsun 160J an improbable survivor.

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