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Last Call: ’Im’s A Fine Lad Edition

Peter Tanshanomi October 24, 2018 Last Call 21 Comments

History has not been kind to Chevy’s malaise-era Monza hatchback. Thanks to body’s overly curved flanks, expansive quarter windows and generous rear overhang, along with the baroque mishmash of slots and louvers, it looks like a -size model wearing a size zero bodysuit and a Darth Vader mask. Making things worse, it’s easy to mock GM’s H-body platform. In stock form, they have all the structural integrity of cottage cheese, and approximately the same expected life.

However, IMSA-tize one, and it becomes one of the groovier things in this world.

Last Call indicates the end of Redusernab’s broadcast day. It’s meant to be an open forum for anyone and anything. Thread jacking is not only accepted, it’s encouraged.

  • Fred

    No matter what the street car was, the Dekon IMSA racers and the Bonneville speed racers were things of purposeful beauty.

  • longrooffan

    How about one of each, wouldn’t you really have a Buick?….not a Budweiser sponsorship but I think pretty cool nonetheless…

    http://redusernab.info/2013/02/01/2013-rolex24-weekend-the-h-body-edition/#more-120837

    • Good to see you, longrooffan.

  • Lokki

    Simply proof that with enough enhancements any girl can look beautiful… and the Monza needed quite a few. Perhaps the only Monza factory original part on that car is the vertical trim piece behind the driver’s door, and I’m not really even convinced of that.

    However I do concede the results are amazing and I want it.

    • Zentropy

      That is indeed pretty sweet. I was shocked to learn it is a Monza.

    • outback_ute

      Don’t forget the door handle…

      • I owned a Monza and the door handle definitely is not. The body shell, hatch, taillights, door skins (minus the flares) and window trim look like they might be.

        • outback_ute

          I’d expect most of that stuff to be fibreglass or similar

          • Reading up on them, DeKon received either complete cars or a full unibody shell from GM to build these. That was placed over a computer designed (some of GM’s earliest use of CAD) tube frame. So there’s probably a good amount of production Monza in there.

  • Sjalabais

    • Lokki

      Volvo Excavators is the name of my new Punk Rock band!

      • SlowJoeCrow

        Dig holes, demolish things, or drive it across Finland (somebody did that in a Japanese micro excavator a few years ago). On a practical level I want the old Ford pickup he drives up in more than an excavator but micro-excavators have all kinds of uses on a large property.

  • Alff

    You’re right about the structural integrity. There wasn’t a moment behind the wheel of my Skyhawk that I wasn’t listening to the rear hatch wiggle against its frame.

    • onrails

      Ha! i thought that was just a product of time and miles. I got mine when it was old enough to vote and was past 100k miles. Despite the glaring POS that it was, I still had some fairly clouded ‘everyone loves their first car’ vision of of it.

      • Lokki

        Ah, fond memories of lifting the driver’s door and slamming it to get it to shut, eh?

        • onrails

          And don’t dare open both doors when you have the front or rear up on jack stands!

        • Alff

          Rabbit Convertible, defined.

  • Tomsk

    What are the odds that GM, British Leyland (Rover) and Pininfarina (Ferrari) all came up with one basic look independent of each other?

    I’m guessing not great.

    • outback_ute

      The earlier Daytona would like a word…

  • crank_case

    Can’t remember if I posted this already, but it’s so worth watching if you’ve got time. Can’t condone all the antics, but it’s very entertaining. (The filmakers are Irish so goes without saying, contains much casual swearing)

  • I had a Monza. I always thought that they were decent looking cars in the later, 4 headlight, hatchback form. Their looks were definitely their best feature. They had the build quality of a random pile of Lego bricks or a Lincoln log house.