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Not Classic Captions Contest: Jaguar F-Pace Edition

For years now we have had the Redusernab Classic Captions Contest. The rules are simple: we provide a classic stock photo or an advertisement of a vehicle and you, the readers, provide your best caption for it. Everyone has a good time and the winner gets nothing but our deepest respects. Simple and fun, right?

On last week’s NEWS piece, the astute  pointed out that Jaguar has an , which can be seen above. And he is right. That is one the most interesting such photos that I’ve seen in a while. Chances are that we would run it in the captions contest twenty or thirty years from now. But why wait? Have at it!

 

  • Gnomical

    There I am smiling at my present and there she is staring off into her future. So we decided to buy this dual purpose Jaguar! But how much will the marriage counseling cost? Can we even afford to these two dogs and take them for an occasional ride?

  • neight428

    Own a cat long term and you’ll be a dog person too!

  • Alff

    1950: Grace, Space, Pace
    2018: Doggy Style!

    • Number_Six

      1950: Grace, Space, Pace

      2018: Debt, prêt, ugly pet

  • Desmo

    Off topic:
    I just wanted to post that the dogs are wrong breed. (Chihuahua is missing).
    But then I realized that the lady holds something that looks like a blackfaced chihuahua. So yes, it will be a classic when both of them are pensioners.

  • onrails

    “Just one more step…” grinned Cal. “One more step until she steps into land mine of fresh brown and this idiotic ‘family picture’ she keeps insisting on for the Christmas card is over.”

  • I_Borgward

    Sure, you’ve got the clothes, the purebred dogs, the Jag… but you’re still in New Jersey.

  • outback_ute

    What am I doing here? Has my life come to this? …….

  • 0A5599

    For men who’d like paw jobs from beautiful dogs they hardly know.

  • Batshitbox

    There’s money to be made in dog walking!!

  • Zentropy

    I don’t have a caption, but I’m curious why the two look dressed for completely separate occasions.

    • The man’s fault no doubt.

      • Rover 1

        Oh yes. Been there.

    • Batshitbox

      It took me a while, and I was trying to find something snarky to say about it when it dawned on me, which I guess helped.

      It’s meant to show the F-Pace as an all-round Luxury-Sport-Utility car that’s classy but also has a sweatpants & trainers side. Except it really comes across as “Dear John, I’m shagging the dog walker. Yours, Camilla.”

  • Afghan: It’s named after a cat? How could you?

  • Stirling Matheson, @SZMatheson on :
    “They’ve chosen which dogs they get in the divorce, but they’re clearly going to court over the FIRST EVER JAGUAR F-PACE that brings together sporty handling and dramatic beauty with everyday practicality and efficiency to create the ultimate luxury performance SUV.”

  • Van_Sarockin

    Answering The Cramps eternal question: This pussy does the dogs.

  • Borkwagen

    We couldn’t find a corgi in time.

  • Jkedz

    The new Jaguar F-pace, sports car performance, European luxury, and lots of room for the bitches.