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Classic Captions – 1974 Jeep CJ5 Edition

Nowadays, every car ad has a “closed course, professional driver, do not attempt” disclaimer somewhere. Furthermore, if it features anything off-road, we are admonished to “tread lightly” and stick to designated trails. None of that C-Y-A nonsense was required in 1974. American Motors’ ad men made it perfectly clear that once you purchased a new CJ5, they expected you to test that all-leaf-spring suspension by going full James Garner off the nearest hill. Today, we expect you to invent a clever or ironic caption for this illustration and share it in the comments.

spitfire-tr6The responses to last week’s Triumph ad certainly didn’t disappoint! knocked it out of the park with his winning comment: “Six of these things will try to kill you. The other one is a zebra.” Right behind him was with, “A Spitfire and a TR6 walk into a zoo and notice the lack of a Stag.” Very clever indeed (and neither one off-color!). Well done, lads.

  • Wayne Moyer

    Maximus was driving his Renegade through the desert like it was WWIV. He knew it was just as capable of going through MUD’s just as easily.

  • I must not slow down, or The Smoking Tire will ignite the entire car!

  • Alff

    “Suck on it, Morley Safer”

  • Fuhrman16

    A real renegade have no need for gravity!

  • SawdustTX

    Checking his sideview mirror, Bob realized those two Triumphs and the Cheetah were still hot on his trail. Approaching the blind hill he punched it, hoping to lose them once and for all.

  • P161911

    Burt thought “These tires grip pretty good for whitewalls”

    • I_Borgward

      Fella needs to be careful… might scuff ’em up.

  • Mork couldn’t wait to get his CJ back to his home planet. The lower gravity on Ork would make four-wheelin’ a blast.

  • H Vaughn

    Jeepers, leapers, gonna leave in a hearse.

  • Wheeling in whitewalls. A Renegade indeed.

  • What do you know, these do perform better when lifted! I should have stolen one years ago.

  • Vairship

    Daisy Duke and Lulu Hogg decided to re-enact the ending of Thelma & Louise.

  • Lokki

    Despite the whitewall tires and the gleaming white smile, Jack and his Renegade managed to cause quite a lot of trouble in our small town.