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Classic Captions – ’76 Dodge Aspen R/T Edition

Dodge Aspen R/T
It’s Monday, which means you could probably use a mental jog and a bit of fun to brighten your day. What can do both? Well, Redusernab’s Classic Captions Contest, of course! This week, we have a sporty young lady posing court-side with her ’76 Dodge Aspen R/T, both wearing white with avocado accents. What clever caption can you make from this overdose of 1970s fashion cues? And what captions made the grade from last week? Hit the jump to find out!

54lincoln-ad-large One response to last week’s trio of ’54 1953 Lincolns overshadowed all others by a huge margin. Redusernab regular came up with it: “My pappy said, ‘Son, you’re gonna’ drive me to drinkin’ If you don’t stop drivin’ that Hot Rod, Fuel Economy, Trophy Wife Lincoln.'” Sporadic semi-regular was a distant second with his quip, “The desire for attention motivates men to plaster various eye-catching slogans, symbols and logos all over their cars and clothing. Women, on the other hand, just carry a vagina with them.” (I personally would have been tempted to go with “bare shoulders” instead, but most likely wouldn’t have gotten as many votes as he did, either.)

  • Sjalabais

    “Just waiting for stray balls so my insurance and I can finally afford that brown diesel wagon everybody keeps talking about”.

  • onrails

    Cecilia leaned against her Aspen’s door and caught her breath. She was missing a few tennis balls and after grabbing something round, green, and fuzzy that was lodged under the passenger seat she suddenly realized that she had left the balls in the trunk and finally discovered where that smell was coming from.

    • P161911

      “Damn UAW workers” thought Cecilia.

  • neight428

    “Nice ’76 Dodge”, a compliment with a strong backhand.

    • Wayne Moyer

      Nicely played.

  • irishzombieman

    Just minutes later, the fledgling sport of Car Tennis died at birth in a crapstorm of wails, sirens, and bloody tennis whites.

  • Wayne Moyer

    You’ve been served.
    No love lost.

  • fu

    “Don’t laugh, just because my serve is twice as fast as the car.”

  • Alff

    This lovely Dodge Aspen R/T was first prize for the ladies at Wimbledon in 1976. Second prize was two Dodge Aspen R/Ts.

  • Mr.Roadrage

    Let down by her poor hearing yet again, Jane waited in anticipation to give Cyril the Aston Martin he said he’d always wanted.

  • Wayne Moyer

    Betty’s awkward smile was because there was someone still in the car as evidenced by the fact the brake lights were lit up.

  • Batshitbox

    The Aspen R/T’s approval ratings were love, at first sight.

    • smalleyxb122

      Then they went to deuce.

  • GTXcellent

    Just think, in the 40 years since that pic was taken, I bet that model STILL looks more youthful than that ungainly Dodge

  • Alff

    Renee Richards poses with her new Dodge. The R/T designation and bold graphics indicated “muscle car” but underneath it was something altogether different. She found that reassuring.

  • Ooh, girls in tennis dresses and an R/T?
    Love all.

    • Van_Sarockin

      Spread the love.

  • “… last week’s trio of ’54 Lincolns….”

    Perhaps my comment last week was too subtle, but honestly, those are ’53 Lincolns, not ’54s.

    • What’s the deal with all the female tennis players named Lincoln, and how can you tell?

    • What? I don’t actually READ the comments, you know. Thanks for the correction.

  • P161911

    This car makes as much sense as the scoring system in tennis.

  • 0A5599

    Jimmy invited Candy to her first game of Strip Tennis, and said she would be able to check out his “hot rod”. She tried not to let her disappointment show when she realized he meant a game played on a quarter mile of asphalt with a Dodge F-body.

  • Infamous007

    Match point

  • Batshitbox

    The difference between owning an Aspen R/T and tennis elbow is you can recover from tennis elbow.

  • Prince Halibrand

    She sensibly had a substantial underlayer beneath that white exterior. The Aspen’s sheet metal, alas, did not. That’s why R/T eventually stood for “Rust Thru”

  • Van_Sarockin

    Love All is better, and worse, than you might think.

  • Car_Door

    Ted: “What an appalling racket!”
    Jennifer: “Hey! I just bought you that racquet, it was almost $30”
    Ted: “No no no. My tennis racquet is just fine, but the noise coming from Linda’s Dodge over there is pathetic!”

  • 1977ChevyTruck

    While less successful than the first one, “Unsafe at Any Speed, Part II”, was definitely the better read, what with it’s woeful tales of “sporty” Aspens with stripes and decals and “sporty” middle-aged women with Botox, and revealing sports wear.

  • Lokki

    After her Aspen double-faulted for the third time Kathy decided to look for a match, and not a tennis match either.

  • hwyengr

    New for ’76, the Arthur Ashe Aspen!

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