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Classic Captions – The 1971 Ford Econoline Van Edition

Jim Brennan November 18, 2014 Redusernab Classic Captions Contest 31 Comments

1971 Ford Econoline-01

Welcome to the Redusernab Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising, dealer displays or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. The Commercial Van Market has gone through a seismic shift with almost all of the vans offered completely redesigned, and the last time that happened was the late 60’s and early 70’s with the Econoline leading the way


Last time, we had a Pinto Wagon in Drag, and the participation rate was not great, but it wasn’t bad either, so I guess I’ll continue to shake things up a bit… Our runner up comment was from dwbf11, and his caption went like this: “Who knew that a Bobcat would be so effective at hauling Cougar tail?”. That was very clever and a great observation, but there was one caption that our readers liked better…

And the winning comment was from one of our regular contributors, Tanshanomi, and it was actually the image you see below, and his caption that was very appropriate: “…or Mercury Bobcat photo” This was a terrific caption entry Tanshanomi, so good job on winning this weeks classic caption contest.

Classic Captions – The 1975 Mercury Bobcat Wagon Edition  Redusernab - Google Chrome 11182014 100031 AM.bmp

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and this time I went to the archives of the Old Car Manual Project. This is a Brochure Cover Image for the 1971 Ford Econoline Van. The image shows a lovely young lady with a two-wheel trolly carrying a Philco something-or-other. Remember, at this time, Philco used to be a Ford Brand for Stereo Hi-Fi’s, Color Television Sets, and major appliances, so it ties in nicely with the Ford Brand. I’m really not sure how her pose is suppose to say anything about the rugged nature of the Econoline, but so what. It makes a great cover image for a brochure.

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (Like I really wonder what is in that Philco Box…), we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this interesting image.

Photo Credit:

  • Devin

    OSHA had a thing or two to say about Leslie's snappy scarf.

  • dukeisduke

    "I know what you're wondering – yes, there is a dead male hooker in this box. The Ford Econoline will hold 40, with room to spare."

  • Irishzombieman☆

    HA HA HA! That was great, Tanshanomi!

    Enjoy this six-pack of Ichthyosaur IPA, brewed in the greatest state on earth.

    <img src="; width="400/">

    • $kaycog

      Congratulations, Tanshanomi, on being last week's winner! Here's a Bobcat for you!

      <img src=";

    • No, THIS is brewed in the greatest state on earth.

      <img src="; width="500">

      (Just bustin' your chops. Thanks for that. I have friends in Carson City and actually do love Nevada.)

  • OA5599

    Ford had a better idea-a service division using attractive young women to restock the candy dishes near the cash registers of various local businesses. However, the passage of equal rights laws meant Ford had to start hiring the unattractive, the middle-aged, and males. The service died a quick death thereafter, and the windowless Ford Free Candy vans disappeared into obscurity.

  • P161911

    "Hey buddy, wanna buy some speakers. They loaded too many on the truck."
    This scam is five times more effective with an attractive female.

    • Alff

      Shouldn't the van be white?

      • P161911

        It was the 70s Mod Cons.

  • Alff

    When he was still a struggling musician the future Mrs. Mark Knopfler helped support him by running deliveries for the local appliance store chain.

    • Tiller188

      Sadly, while she ended up being a very effective muse (a casual remark about her schedule of deliveries and installations for one particular day led to much more success than she could have predicted), she eventually left him because she felt she was being undervalued.

  • skitter

    It's a new kind of oven called a microwave. It cooks your food with… uhhhh…. science!

  • $kaycog

    Will someone please help get this dolly into the van?

    • Vairship

      "Sure, and we'll put her television and two-wheel trolley in there with her."

  • Irishzombieman☆

    Because he was small and slight, and because he wore androgynous clothes and makeup, Nigel was often mistaken for a woman by customers and fellow delivery drivers alike. He did his best to roll with it, but some days, he just wanted to drive his bright yellow van into a bog and sit in it while it sank.

  • smalleyxb122

    Ford’s Scapula Magnet Yellow was, though effective, a notable flop in the early years of the gender-attractive pigment wars.

  • "Mr. Limbkins, I beg your pardon, sir! Oliver Twist has asked for moiré!"

  • PotbellyJoe ★★★★☆


  • Hamilton

    "and yes, you can have cragars on your hand truck as a dealer installed option."

  • Joe Btfsplk

    "Be the first in your neighborhood with the *NEW* Barbie Delivery Van… complete with Disco-Delivery Barbie!" Hand cart and cargo sold extra…. recommended for transgenders aged 7 and up.

  • danleym

    The 1971 Ford Econoline… The van in the background of all of your porn fantasies!

  • neight428

    An attractive lady as a delivery person in an unmarked van. I think I've seen this in a movie before, but can't remember how it ends.

  • Rich

    "Yes I am expecting..in about three months. I bought this van six months ago, why do you ask?"

  • "Would you like to watch me place this box inside my box…van?"

  • "If this van's a-rockin', don't bother knockin'…because I'm busy rearranging cargo."

  • Fuhrman16

    As always, the first step to any custom van project is a hot chick with a bangin' stereo.

  • Guest

    Ironside pilot episode, Chief played by a cardboard box. Casting director told the lead is a wooden character that is wheeled around. Think of the added product placement value.

    • tonyola

      Also think of the budget savings by not having to pay the lead.

  • tonyola

    Is it me or does the nice lady in the photo appear to be carting around a second package – i.e. pregnant?

  • CobraGT351

    " My new Ford is not only stylish but it also comes with the new portable Philco HiFi for easy listening at home or on the road" I'm very sorry that sarcasm dosen't translate to text but I'm sure you can use your imagination.