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Classic Captions – The 1970 Toyota Bikini Corolla Edition

Jim Brennan January 7, 2014 Redusernab Classic Captions Contest 24 Comments


Welcome to the Redusernab Classic Captions Post. Once again it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so it’s now time to review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. This week we take a look at a tiny Bikini… er, small Toyota!

1963 Pontiac Tempest Deluxe-14

Last time, we had an image of a couple with their Tempest, and due to the holiday season, the responses were rather light. The runner-up comment had a , and it was from . His caption went like this: “The early Breaking Bad screening audiences roundly rejected the more mellow Walter White with his female, wagon-driving companion, thereby necessitating the introduction of Jesse Pinkman and an old motorhome.” I guess I’m not much of a Breaking Bad fan, but you guys seemed to like it. However, there was one comment that was slightly better…

This week, the winning caption was from (Yes, Again), and this time, it has a connection (Remember, there was a Tempest connection in that film…) and his caption went like this: “Your Honor, at the time in question the two yoots were playing folk music in a field in the next county.” Very well done, so congratulations Alff on winning the Caption Contest this week.

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and it is an Dealership Display Image for the 1970 Toyota Corolla. I’m not sure what this image is suppose to represent, but after the weather we have been experiencing, I needed a little warm weather reminder, and I thought you could use one too. I want to bring something to your attention for a moment though. Take a look at that peculiar bottle on the ground next to the drivers door… Is that suppose to be a detergent bottle, or is it a Genie Bottle (as in ). That would explain a lot… Like, is this girl a vision in a Bikini, or is she really And is this really any way to entice you to purchase a rather boring transportation appliance in the 70’s? Only you can answer these questions, while we bring you a retrotastic image to your otherwise boring Tuesday.

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (especially about that Bikini), we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this provocative image.

Photo Credit:

  • $kaycog

    Another congratulations to Alff! YAY! I don't have a Tempest for you, but I hope this GTO will do.

    <img src=";

    • Irishzombieman☆

      Nice job, Alff! Here's a stinkin' amazing beer!

      <img src="; width=350>

      • Three of my favorite things. Thanks, guys!

    • Wildcat_445

      Now THAT is a bikini!!

      Where is there a GTO in that picture?

  • Bsphillips

    The man of 1970 only needs the bare necessities;
    A sponge
    A brush
    A hose
    A champagne bucket
    A bong
    His girl
    Her bikini
    Corolla, all the room a man needs for 1970…

  • Jeannie gets to wash Mr. Nelson's 1966 Pontiac GTO, my master Technical Sergeant Tom Smith makes me wash this heap.

  • Devin

    In heaven, you get a girl on a beach and a Ferrari. In purgatory, you just get a girl in a featureless void, a retaining wall, and a Corolla.

  • After a few hits of the hookah Jane didn't care if Bob drove a Ferrari or a Toyota. A few more hits and she would even wash it for him.

  • skitter

    Ah… minimalism.

  • Sadly, both would eventually succumb to model bloat.

  • mkep819

    When Mr. Honda saw this advertising campaign, he was outraged. He decided that, unlike his competitor Toyota, there would be no sex in His advertising. He wrote a quick note to his marketing department, with this picture, & the letters NSX!!!

    So as always, NSX is the answer.

  • Vann Himoura

    "Makes me wish that you were as "sponge worthy" as this Toyota!" (Obscure Sienfeld reference)

    • not all that obscure…

  • $kaycog

    "Master, I have completed the wash job on your Corolla. Now put me back in that bottle and put a cork in it."

  • Neen85

    "Don't be a square. It's pronounced ca-ROLL-a…the extra L is for Love. Just ask Bikini Betty!"

    • Kinda looks like Betty Draper from Mad Men.

  • "Honey, the fancy bottle of bath bubbles I bought were intended for you, not the car. But hey, whatever."

  • Irishzombieman☆

    <img src="; width=500>

  • POLAЯ ☄ ihavacomet

    The 1970 Toyota Corolla.

    With supportive yet comfy front seats for even the widest of birthing hips,

    and a back seat to fill up if you put those babies to good use.

    • Wildcat_445

      Although you must admit that the back seat was NOT conducive to producing said offspring…

  • Wildcat_445

    An early computer nerd's wet dream. (The car, not the model. 😀 )

  • Van_Sarockin

    If you were a gentleman, you'd drive her all the way to her Marina. It might take a while, bust she's make it worth your while.

  • She knows that if she uses that hose brush to clean off any sort of dirt that it'll get stuck in the bristles and scratch the paint, right?

  • RimShot

    Always wondered what Doris Day did before she became a virgin.

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