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Craigslist: “The Beast” is a 5-axle Chopper Transporter in Need of Completion

Kamil Kaluski July 18, 2012 All Things Hoon 24 Comments

couldn’t think of a proper caption

Generally, to transport a motorcycle one needs a pickup truck with an eight-foot bed (what do they call an eight-foot bed in France?) if transporting anything bigger than a dirt bike. Tailgate extenders on a shorter bed could work too, but otherwise trailer is the way to go. The seller of The Beast had a different idea however, which probably came from his need to transport long motorcycles choppers, baby.

[Source: | Thanks to Todd A. for finding this and posting on Google+)

From the ad:

Custom built Beast. Not finished as pic show to date. Have taillights, roll pan with tail lights included. Nissan NSX headlights, brand new still in boxes included! Runs and Drives! “THIS BEAST IS,,, 24 FEET LONG &,,, 7 FEET WIDE!”

” No time to finish.” SELL or TRADE????.


If you wish to call with any questions or with what you have to trade, please feel free to call Mike, at; days – 1-718-652-XXXX, weekends & Evenings at; 1-917-734-XXXX

This Beast is located in Sullivan County NY, For viewing or pick up, On weekends! “CASH ONLY!”


THANK YOU, & God Bless!


One does not need big brains to know that buying someone’s half finished project is not a good idea, as is probably the case here. Or is it? It runs and drives, the base for something very different in there. Think of it as an oddly shaped-not-quite-blank canvas on which to finish your painting. Bonus points if you own a bike shop and actually need a transporter.

Details are vague, as in almost non-existent. It looks like it is based on a Dodge Ram but everything else is anyone’s guess. I wonder how it turns. Nissan NSX taillights? This is the first proper four-door coupe I have ever seen. Why four axles in the back again? How much does a chopper weight?


  • thebloody323

    What is this? I don't even…

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  • I want to own this.

  • OA5599

    This has been up for sale before, at the same price, as I remember, with apparently no additional work done since then. By the dates on some of the earlier pictures, this project began in the 90's, and started with a FWD GM sedan.

    • I need to unsee this…

  • If you lost everything behind the first rear axle, this could be an interesting oversized hatch. Could be a racing transporter for these? <img src=http://images.motoring.co.uk/images/newsImages/racing-family-make-history-in-smart-car-series-31977-image2.jpg>

  • tiberiusẅisë

    (what do they call an eight-foot bed in France?)

    You don't call it anything, you surrender to it.

    • For the typical Frenchman, three feet too long.

  • If this thing could talk, it would be murmering pitifully, "Kill me, kill me…."

  • Van_Sarockin

    En francais? Huit pieds. Or perhaps 2.5 metres. But it's funnier in Spanish: Ocho piedras. Stay classsy, hoons!

    • B72

      I'm picturing a mattress with "Le Bed" written on the side in large block letters

  • So meth is a BIG problem in Sullivan County, NY.

  • B72

    This would make perfect sense if the chopper being transported also had four rear wheels. In a row. Like a giant in-line skate.

  • skitter

    To own this, I would only need someone who
    1. believes advertising works
    2. has mysteriously been given a budget

  • joshwebster84

    WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?!?!?!?!?!?

  • schigleymischke

    Why does it have 4 rear axles, you ask? Why wouldn't it have 4?

  • KAH

    This looks like something the Thunderbirds puppets(kids ask your parents/grandparents)would be using to rescue motorcycles in grave danger of harm.

  • jeepjeff

    This looks like it might just be the perfect vehicle for the Tuscon to Vegas run.

  • I would rather have one of these:
    <img src="; width=640>
    Image from:


    I can't imagine that this thing can make a turn without serious tire scrub. A FWD ..what? Rams or Durangos are not FWD..

    • stickmanonymous

      Well, they are if you've found that you can't hook any of your four axles up to an existing 4×4 Ram drivetrain, and remove that pesky rear drive shaft altogether.

  • Every tire salesman's dream.

  • james

    I was picturing Arnold running towards this "GET TO ZEE CHOPPAH" Not that motorcycles aren't cool too, but it really looks big enough for the helicopter.

  • Dirty Dingus McGee

    Must be to carry this;




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