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Redusernab Classic Captions – The 1958 DeSoto Fireflite Edition

Jim Brennan September 19, 2011 Redusernab Classic Captions Contest 59 Comments

It’s Monday, so once again that means its time for another Redusernab Classic Captions Contest. Twelve weeks ago I started this little feature with this posting, and it looks like it’s a part of Redusernab that you seem to look forward to. If you haven’t participated yet, I’m sure that this week’s image will provide the proper inspiration to join in.

Last week, we went back to the 80′s with this New York state-of-mind. It was so full of 80s pop icons that the captions practically wrote themselves, but it came down to two comments that were particularly spot on, as well as truly funny. was in the hunt this week with this short yet curt comment: “The 1987 Corvette: Get You Some Strange”

Very funny stuff, but it was this thought provoking one liner from that took the prize: “Sophia didn’t quite realize what replying “I’ll try anything!” might mean when Bob said “Let’s get a hotel suite and have a kinky weekend!””

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks illustration, and I am using this against my better judgement. It is an advertisement image for the 1958 DeSoto FireFlight 2-Door Hardtop. The imagery speaks for itself, with Nine Sailors admiring the all white coupe, with a red and silver interior. All I am going to say it please keep it clean, because this is the image that will probably generate the most NSFW captions since this feature debuted. For even further inspiration, .

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption of this image. The editors will then discuss whether or not any of you even deserve acknowledgement for all those dirty dirty comments, and then finally give up and award a winner. So surprise us with something witty, rather than something insipid, or you will have to dress-up as a sailor and entertain all of his special friends.

Lead Image courtesy of

  • crinklesmith

    White exterior, red interior, and packed full of "sailors"? This should be interesting. "Come inside boys, there's plenty of room for all of us, hell, we can fit three in the front, and three in the back, even with a full load in the trunk!"

  • P161911

    Bill's ex-girlfriend Marlyn thought it was strange he would name his DeSoto after her. Especially since he caught her cheating on him with those other sailors…

  • vwminispeedster

    The 1958 DeSoto, now with more power to conquer all in your path while you explore the back roads of the Southeast United States.

  • Question: How many sailors does it take to screw in a DeSoto?

    Answer: 9, apparently.

  • Bobby mulled how to get all his buddies and the girls he was sure they would pick up into the car at once. Nobody else seemed concerned.

  • mr. mzs zsm msz esq

    Tsk tsk tsk, whites after Labor Day, at least the sailors aren't wearing matching white shoes like that DeSoto.

  • "If drunk sailors are dumb enough to buy the '58 Desoto that leaves the Edsel for the Marines."

  • tonyola

    The sailors are in awe of the DeSoto's poop deck.

  • tiberiusẅisë

    Long, white and full of seamen. DeSoto for 58.

    • SSurfer321

      damn. came here to post that joke.

    • UDman

      I was wondering how long it was going to take for the "S" word to appear…. Longer than I originally thought…

      • That's what she said.

        • Smells_Homeless

          I bet you are an outstanding T-ball player.

  • SSurfer321

    As big as a boat, these sailors confuse the 58 DeSoto for their PT658.

  • Devin

    Ryo finally found where sailors hang out.

    For people not quite nerdy enough to get the reference.

    [ dQa3yGXzGls ]

    • Sega Dreamcast!


  • Alff

    The able seaman wondered how he would fit in all his mates for a night out celebrating the end of "Don't ask, don't tell".

    This is a timely captioning contest: …

  • Paul E

    New to town! The '58 DeSoto and nine sailors!

  • Van Sarockin

    Discover a whole lot more than you enlisted for with your new DeSoto! You'll never miss the Mississippi.

  • TurboBrick

    Guys, come on! Which one of you seamen stained my upholstery??

  • Jimmy7

    Fleet Week wasn't always the Big Deal it became in later years.

  • $kaycog

    Sea what I mean, buoys? There's not enough room for nine of us. Yawl have to take turns at the wheel.

    • Alff

      It's a bit early in the day to be hitting the port, isn't it?

    • Number_Six

      That's the nautical line scuppered – we've got puns up to the gunwales. Guess I'll get keelhauled if I reference certain far-eastern practices…

      • $kaycog

        That's ferry good!

        • $kaycog


  • dukeisduke

    I'm not sayin' nothin' about the term, "Gobs and Gobs" in the original ad. Nope.

  • "You know, in fifty-three years time people will probably set caption competitions on this photoshoot…"
    "Yeah. I feel ridiculous."

  • skitter

    If any of them noticed it wasn't the station wagon they'd arrived in, they didn't say any thing.

  • Alff

    Good to see you – I've been mizzen you.

    • $kaycog

      Good to see you too. I've always liked the cut of your jib.

  • It appears the guys on the passenger side of the car are popping and locking 20 years before the term was created.

  • Joe Btfsplk

    Question: "How many hookers can you fit in a Desoto's trunk?"

    Answer: Nine

  • P.Frere

    McCahill wondered why the 1958 DeSoto handled like a drunken sailor. I think we now know the answer.

  • Number_Six

    In 1958 the US Army Chemical Warfare Laboratories tested LSD on 95 'volunteers', 9 of whom were spotted reporting for duty shortly afterwards.

  • Charles_Barrett

    Okay, boys and girls, now for today's grammar lesson:
    Which of the following two sentences is using the apostrophe correctly, as a caption for the photo above:

    "Happy at first, Sailor Joe soon lamented leaving his friends behind"
    "Happy at first, Sailor Joe soon lamented leaving his friend's behind"

    • zaddikim

      You, sir, owe me a new monitor.

  • RogueinLA

    Due to an unfortunate typo, Desoto's new "Semen White" Color didn't go over as well as expected.

    Yeah, I went there

  • flr1975

    No, no, we joined the service to get into a FireFIGHT!

  • The Professor

    Who likes a sailor?!

  • B72

    White Fireflite, sailors delight
    9 drunks in the morning, drivers take warning

  • Isabella Borgward

    Hello, sailor!

  • sport_wagon

    The guy in the back would definitely dragon that DeSoto.

  • suju89

    “Hast seen the White Whale?”

  • How will you get all of that seamen out of your interior Marge?

  • Lotte

    It's got f**ing whitewall tires, a full f**ing 50 cubic f**ing inch trunk fer all yer sh**ty sh*t, and f**king red velour! What more can ya f**ing want?

    (I imagine that's how sailors talk.)

  • Have land yacht …will travel.

  • dragon951

    When it's just one, I believe it is pronounced "Desotozoon," or "Desotium" if not motile.

  • [ nqvA5IyfSSQ ]

    Yes, it's a WoW machinima music video. It doesn't matter. LISTEN.

  • Their ship has come in.

  • Desoto Fireflite: the Stylish Sausage Fest.

  • NothingHappens

    The '58 Desoto, stylish enough to distract 8 of 9 sailors from it's tailpipe.

  • DeSoto: Proud sponsor of shore leave sh*t that will get you thrown in the brig.

  • Rockford_Brodie

    The Desoto Budget Players Present: HMS Pinafore

    Brought to you by the new Fireflite.

  • Newbie

    DeSoto renamed the Fireflite the "Admiral" after a market study found this land yacht's true customer base.

  • McQueen

    "Honey I think you have some explaining to do , you said you were just going to the store , how do you explain all the seamen on the car ?"

  • AMCRules!

    Though there's ample space in the front, each of these sailors protested that they far more enjoyed a nice long ride in the back.

  • Robert

    The new 1958 Desoto Fireflight Edition, with room for 5 you may be leaving some angry seaman behind!

    • Robert

      Sorry, that was supposed to be "seamen"…


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