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Rule Britannia from the (Upright) Wheel of a Motorhome Bus!

Redusernab March 16, 2011 For Sale 10 Comments

Two-bedroom duplex, great location, close to schools.

London is one of the most expensive places to live on Earth. It’s also one of the most congested cities, forcing former car-hating mayor Ken Livingstone to install a “congestion charge” that forces drivers to pay tolls when they enter the city center. With this in mind, here’s one way to kill two birds with one stone and afford a duplex in downtown London, all without having to sacrifice the comforts of home—down by the Thames, presumably, and eating a steady diet of .

More spacious than a McDonald's Playplace!

What’s more quintessentially than bad teeth room-temperature beer Catherine Zeta-Jones a red double-decker bus? And what’s more annoyingly British than caravanning? And what’s more formerly British () than stomping across gullys of sheep excrement the countryside in a mighty 4×4, face-destroying red foxes with a Holland & Holland Royal Deluxe over & under sidelock 12-bore? That’s why the bus features a snazzy grille guard (and for picking off pesky cyclists in bus lanes). Shh. Hear that? That’s the sound of Jeremy Clarkson, in a pub somewhere, suddenly having an aneyrusm.

Spacious kitchen with newly-redone wood floors!

Inside the Fortress of Solitude, your average nuclear family of four can enjoy all of the conveniences of modern life: a hob stove, full-size refrigerator, sink, grill, oven, hot water, shower, and a toilet, which they call a “loo.” I dare you to say “loo” ten times without snickering. How do British schoolchildren get anything accomplished? The seller claims that it seats 7. Cover fuel costs by renting it out as a hostel, and have fun putting up with unshaved, techno-blasting Austrian backpackers!

Fully-licensed daycare on site!

The only real comparison to this homebuilt motorhome (and aren’t those always the creepiest best?) is to square it off against the America, Flip Yeah 1000-horsepower armored RV that sent me on a nostalgia trip from when I first got started at the ‘Verse. It’s a battle of wits against the British Bruiser and the American Assassin! Stephen Fry versus Toby Keith! Who’s going to triumph in this rumble across the Atlantic?

 

A challenger appears.

Stephen Fry’s Company Car
PROS: You could probably host a pretty decent Tupperware party in it. Scenic views from the top-floor bungalow. Bus-like levels of headroom and forward visibility. Sweet grille guard ensures maximum respect from . you can park it at Hampstead Heath and sell it as “lakefront property.” Hardwood floors!

CONS: You’re driving a bus. As a result, it will attract , and not just your own family either. ZING! Slower than a kidney stone. The front of the bus has a URL written in Comic Sans. And why is there a shovel in the toilet?

You don't want to go there. Believe me.

Toby Keith’s Moonshine Runner
PROS: Bulletproof. Jet-powered. Guess which of these vehicles will actually cause global warming? Three Wolf Moon-levels of irony in those electric bald eagles, if you’re into that sort of thing.

CONS: Not that it matters, as nobody in England owns guns anyway, and those that do are too old, crotchety or drunk to load them. Gets terrible gas mileage. Jet engines don’t work well underwater. Three Wolf Moon-levels of irony in those electric bald eagles. If you buy it, Jeff Foxworthy will film the Blue Collar Comedy Tour at your house.

Call your friendly neighborhood realtor TODAY!

So let’s call it a draw. We , you , that sort of thing.

  • OA5599

    I had someone offer me a "ran when parked" Bristol double-decker for free, but it was inoperable when they were giving it away. The wrecker would have been something like $500 to hook up $2/mile and I imagine parts wouldn't be cheap or easy to find in the US. While I was looking at it, someone else came by and had previously told the owner he wanted it sight-unseen.

    I was quite relieved to have escaped this Project Car Hell before investing anything more than a drive to see it.

  • K5ING

    I've always thought that a double-decker bus would make a fantastic motorhome. Living area downstairs, bedrooms upstairs. What could be better?

  • Maymar

    *shakes fist*
    COMIC SAAAANSSSSSSSS!!!!!

    • Alff

      <img src=";

  • I had dreams of doing this one day.

    One of the buses that took me to secondary school every day was an ECW bodied Bristol VRT just like that. I can still hear the sound of that Gardner 6LXB pushing us uphill. Loads and loads of space, of course. But very little headroom (most VRTs were built to lowbridge height) compared to other double-deckers. (EDIT:- albeit the one above appears to be a tall one) And terrible ride quality.

    If you're gonna do a motorhome, there's only one way to do it properly:-

    <img src="; width=350>

    • chrystlubitshi

      oh dear god…. i would totally rock that in the slow lanes across the US… it looks AWESOME!!

  • UDman

    There is only one correct answer to converting a bus to a Motorhome…. The Cyclops…..

    [youtube bPpBGsFddao&feature=player_embedded youtube]

    • Very true, RVs with bowling alleys are where it's at.

  • Van Sarockin

    That bus is enough to make me reprioritize my life. Only problem is that where I'm going, there are a lot of low bridges.

  • parkwood60

    I think I also saw a project Bus just like it on Los Angeles area craigslist this afternoon.

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