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Redusernab Asks – What Would You Rally in the Alps?

Alex Kierstein November 22, 2010 Redusernab Asks 56 Comments

Mais oui!!! ... je prendrai deux!

I don’t know about you, but occasionally in an opiate-induced revelry daydream, I’ll place myself behind the wheel of some exotic machine pointed roughly uphill but mostly sideways, wet tarmacadam glistening in the dim light under the bouncing glare of the driving lights, twin roostertails of dirty snow blowing aft as flashbulbs go off at random intervals.

Michelle Mouton, Françoise Conconi, and the stuff of your dreams for a while.

I’m sure a lot of you are like me, in that the vehicle of this particular fantasy changes depending on the mood. Just like that nightmare about showing up to school and suddenly realizing you’re not wearing any pants, there are some thematic consistencies – recurrences, really. And at the root of my Alpine fantasia is the peerless Alpine-Renault A110 Berlinette. To begin with, just look at it! Sacre bleu! Any car with the Renault 8 as a basis and a thumping Gordini hidden under the rear bodywork should raise your blood pressure. At 1,200 lbs soaking wet and covered in snow, even those sub-1300cc Gordini variants allowed the little Berlinette to hustle uphill with grace, poise, and a cacophony of snarly intake noise. Sometimes the setting is Col de Turini, sometimes it’s Stelvio … it’s always snowy, twisty, and straight uphill.

Unfortunately that run was in the dry, but the HD and sound make it worthwhile. Use your imagination.

I’m using my poster’s prerogative to claim the Alpine A110 as my own answer to this question, but without any further ado, what would you flog up an Alpine pass? And to clarify, just because the A110 was a proper rally car that won the ’71 Monte Carlo and swept the podium in ’73, it doesn’t mean you have to pick a rally car. Always had a fantasy of taking a Pontiac Bonneville SSEI to the Alps? Tell us about it. (Can’t promise we won’t take the piss out of ya for it, though …)

  • Oh, this is how you start a holiday-week Monday post. I look forward to seeing what everyone's ride of choice will be.

    Mine:

    <img src=";

  • scroggzilla

    Funny, you should ask. I just added a bunch of vintage Coupe des Alpes photos to my Flickr stream and this little fellow jumped out me.
    ; width="500" height="328" alt="63 coupe des alpes jean rolland alfa romeo giulietta sz" />

    • scroggzilla

      Or, maybe, you'd prefer something even more old school
      ; width="414" height="500" alt="53 coupe des alpes marion-champel citroen 15-6" />

      • scroggzilla

        Or you could just rock a Mini
        ; width="500" height="499" alt="65 monte carlo rally makinen easter mini cooper" />

        • scroggzilla

          Finally, if your name is Dearthair, you'll probably want the Jaaaag
          ; width="500" height="368" alt="63 coupe des alpes margulies-brown jaguar mk2" />

          • Deartháir

            Damn you, Scroggs, Flickr is blocked at work, so now I have to wait the entire work-day to get home and view the photos.

            • scroggzilla

              They'll stll be there, waiting patiently, when you get home.

  • dculberson

    Ohhh, rally. A subject near and dear to my heart. I spent many an hour in Rallysport Challenge, both 1 and 2, hooning virtual cars through forests, around ice tracks, and up hills. My initial thought was the Audi Quattro Coupe:

    <img src=";

    • dculberson

      And the Volvo 242 was intoxicating in its oversteer and wonderful simplicity:

      <img src=";

      • dculberson

        But in the end, I kept going back to the Lancia 037, it sounds amazing and looks great in Martini livery:

        <img src=";

        Final answer.. for now.

  • Manic_King

    <img src=";

  • P161911

    Ferrari 288GTO Evoluzion, it was sort of intended for Group B. Assuming this is an all tarmac rally.
    <img src=";

    If there are to be jumps and off road sections then James Garner's Baja Olds 4-4-2 complete with the aluminum Olds motor.
    <img src=";

    • Ryans92L

      <img src="; width = 500>

      Dead Ford is Dead, but AWESOME!

  • RS 200 would be my default choice, but too obvious. Metro 6R4 is more like it, or Citroen 4TC, but still Group B and thus still predictable. Porsche 917 might be an interesting choice, but a little too hair-trigger for all those switchbacks. Something with no roof and a sonorous exhaust note would be good, a Viper or a Big Healey would be heaven as the sound echoed through tunnels and off valley walls.

    But this is a once-in-a-lifetime shot, right? Needs to be something really, really special. Maybe Bugatti? Hmm. Veyron, EB110 or Royale? Maybe Type 35? Too slow? Aww, this is too hard. Oh sod it.

    <img src="; width=400>

  • SSurfer321

    They do well in the sand, so I'll take one to the snow.
    <img src=";

  • Maymar

    <img src="; width=500 /img>

    Somewhat arbitrarily, I'm going to say the Vauxhall Chevette HSR. It's plebeian American cousin helped teach me the joys of RWD (and how to handle those joys in the snow), I suspect it'd be plenty of fun.

    • scroggzilla

      ; width="500" height="350" alt="78 1000 lakes rally airikkala vauxhall" />
      I think you might be right.

      • Functional sump guard is functional.

  • Number_Six

    I'm no Walter Rohrl or Hans Stuck, so I'm not even going to pretend I can do a Ford RS200 or Moutonesque Audi justice. Instead I'll take a car that makes up for its lack of speed by looking and sounding fantastic:
    <img src="; width="500" />

    • Lotte

      Learned something new today…and at first I thought that was a Fiero!

  • You tell us we can pick ANY car? I came up with this:

    <img src=";

    I've been diggin' AMC lately…

    • Ryans92L

      Damn I came to post that exact same picture!

  • Alff

    <img src=";

  • Armand4

    This car is the reason my personal Alpine sports a pair of Lucas spotlights:
    <img src="; width="600">

  • James

    dang it.

  • scroggzilla

    If you're driving over the Stelvio Pass, any speed is enough to get you all dead.
    ; width="500" height="331" alt="56 coupe des alpes renault 203 " />

    • I have to check when I get home, but I'm pretty sure I took a photo from that exact perspective. It's changed a bit since then. Much more colourful.

      • Deartháir

        It must have been rough living back in the days before colour was invented, no?

  • BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ

    No Escort MK1 yet?
    <img src="; width="500">

    • Number_Six

      +1

  • Lotte

    Something…big.
    <img src="; width="500">

    Or alternatively, an Isuzu Bellet. Those yellow foglamps are just asking for it.
    <img src="; width="500">

  • Deartháir

    I think Lotte came very close to hitting the perfect mark for me… but not quite. If you're going to do this, you've gotta do it in proper batshit insanity form.

    Therefore, I gotta go with the Buick Roadbastard. With woodgrain paneling.
    <img src=";

    Even better if it's lowered and on ridiculous chrome wheels.

    Hmm.

    ::heads off to Kijigeek::

    • Lotte

      So I need more lowering and larger, chromier wheels, wood paneling. With colour-matched flames on the sides.

      We're not coming back, are we?

  • I would also like to rally a Raptor though the Alps, mostly because I just want to rally a Raptor. It just sounds fun.

  • kah

    an old school saab 96 "you're standing on the throttle
    you're standing on the breaks in the groove 'til you make a mistake” Mark Knopfler The Bug

    <img src=";

    or the new Mini Countryman

    <img src=";

    hope the photo links take this time

    • scroggzilla

      ; width="500" height="366" alt="64 alpine cup erik carlsson saab 96" />
      <img src=";

    • kah

      Thanks

    • Dag

      Saab 96, just plain fun to drive on those roads.

  • Rallys are the next bad idea for us to conquer. Having grown up on dirt canyon roads I cannot wait to return to my roots.

    Then Bonneville. World's fastest bug. Who's with me?

    <img src="; witdh ="500" />

    (Awesome image courtesy Gielamonster's eVil lAir

    • dculberson

      I'm with you! I've driven in two Lemons races so far – more to come – but rally sounds like a blast. Some day soon.

  • AlexG55

    <img src="; width="500">
    Volvo PV544- a slow car driven fast…

  • Han_Solex

    <img src="; width="700">

    I'm surprised no one's said Jensen FF yet. Because that would be fun too.

  • earlofhalflight

    It worked for Stirling.

    <img src="; width=500>

  • EscortsForever

    Kinda surprised no one else has picked this:

    <img src="; width="600">

    While looking for that pic, I found this, which also might be intriguing:
    <a href="” target=”_blank”>

  • njhoon

    I'm thinking if I am going to die, and it sure looks it from the pictures above then something really expensive and cool
    <img src="; width="600">

    • njhoon

      I hate to run the risk of a thread jack but in looking for the above picture I came across something sort of awesome, slot car rally cars and tracks. …
      There is a whole bunch of crazy layout at …

      • Ryans92L

        Oh thanks, now I am going to wind up spending money…

  • BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ

    Nice pick, show FAF in their backyard how superior DAF is.

    // BTW me think this is a DAF 55

    • Actually a works DAF 66 prototype at the 1973 Monte Carlo Rally.

  • Mr_Biggles

    Triumph Dolomite Sprint. When I was a kid I read a book called Rally To The Death in which they drove one of these. Long before Internets was around, so I never even knew what it looked like, but I always thought it sounded pretty damn cool. I've upgraded in that category since then to things like Delta Integrales and 205T16s, but the Triumph always sticks with me.
    <img src="; width="500">
    From here: <a href="” target=”_blank”>

  • scroggzilla

    And speaking of rallying through the Alpes…you might want to check out this BMC produced documentary on the 1956 Coupe des Alpes

  • bmw325_num99

    Mercedes SLC – Dakar or otherwise. Note the rear tires…

  • Foolish

    As former owner of two Ford Escorts ('89 and '96) and knowing the true awesomeness of those cars in the snow, I've got to go with the the 300BHP AWD Cosworth Escort, since that's what I pretended I was driving every time it snowed!

  • zsm

    <img src="; width="500">
    If only it had not surely rusted away and been crushed by now, my father's first car. In fact he bought it (and a parts car in a field) from a another Pole who had rallied it in Poland, Czechoslovakia, and Austrian Alps. It was loud when my dad zipped us around in the foothills of the Alps, I loved it.

  • The Dude

    RS200 by far.

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